take my word for it- I'm not worth it.
I ignore you all night and you don't deserve it.
morning, bathtub, my skin soft and hot
I was sure you were right but you're not.
I contemplate my ruined fate
Someone will hurt me so bad one day,
and you'll resonate, I'll apologize
or maybe I'll make the same mistake twice.
I hide from phone calls under warm water
Malice desists, no, it woefully recurs,
and it plays like daytime TV shows
I confuse you
I tell you not to love me but I still kiss you when I want to
and I lament. you're innocent
but somehow the object of my discontent.
And it's fucked up, I let you in
even though I've seen what can happen.
You make a tape
receive it in the mail
and I force myself busy, the diversion will prevail.
And I swallow all my guilt with little pills and force my chin up
and I only think about it in the morning in the bathtub